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2008-09-22 - 9:36 p.m.

In the beginning, you’re so spontaneous and experimental. Any time, anywhere, you’ll try anything. There is that underlying sense of desperation until you get what you want and then, ah, relief.

After awhile though, you start to learn the tricks that work. You get comfortable, predictable, maybe even a bit complacent and, (dare I say it?) lazy. And there’s nothing wrong with that, as far as it goes.

But then you realize that you’ve fallen into a rut, a rut so deep that it becomes almost a trap. You know what works so you’re afraid to deviate from that, even a smidge.

And suddenly you find yourself in your bed and it’s not even 7:30 and he’s nestled comfortable and sleeping against your breast and you are feeling trapped, afraid to move lest you disturb him, and so you compose a blog entry in your head in which you confess to your friends inside the computer that you’ve been allowing your son to nurse to sleep and he’s getting – maybe even gotten – so reliant on this that it’s getting hard to get him to sleep in the evening any other way and in any place but your bed and you want to appeal to them to tell you that there’s a better way and what it is, or even just to reassure you that, hey, it’s okay to let your babies fall asleep this way and no, you won’t be nursing them to sleep when they start school and yes, they did the same thing with their babies and it all turned out just fine…

What? What did you think I was talking about?

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