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Sleepy musings on dreams.

2006-05-07 - 11:40 p.m.

I should be in bed right now. Iím tired, Grommet and J have both been asleep for awhile and, while Greyís Anatomy isnít a bad show, I wouldnít have deemed it worth staying up for.

Iíve been having disturbing dreams lately. Dreams of loss or imminent loss of loved ones. Iím not afraid to go to sleep because of them Ė they donít haunt me and really, I only vaguely remember them when I wake up and, frankly, a lot of them have such bizarre elements that they canít be taken seriously anyway Ė but I thought it odd enough to mention in passing. Iím not often a ďbad dreamĒ kind of girl.

Have you ever noticed, since weíre on the topic, how, in retrospect, things can be totally beyond reality in a dream yet totally make sense at the time that your dreaming it? I once had a dream that incorporated finding a lot of loose change strewn all over a grassy field. I was picking up this change and it all turned into bacon, yet I kept picking it up and my thought process changed from ďfinding moneyĒ to ďfinding bacon which Iím going to sell for moneyĒ and I didnít even notice the transition until I woke up. My dream last night was even more far-fetched, but Iím not going to recount it because it makes no sense when described, even though it made perfect sense while I was dreaming it.

And do other people experience this?: The houses in which people that I know live arenít really their houses, yet are the same-ish from dream to dream. For example, in my dreams my mother lives in a house thatís roughly where her real house is. Itís configured differently, is bigger, and is always being changed and renovated by her. Itís not unusual for there to be an entire second house beside the one sheís currently living in and working on, and this second house is invariably an earlier house of hers that didnít turn out the way she wanted it to so she abandoned it, perhaps put runners on it and moved it further back in the field out of the way, and started on her current house instead.

Another thing Iíve noticed lately is that in many, many of my dreams Iíve returned to the town I went to my undergrad university in. Sometimes itís to work, but often itís because Iím going back to school, perhaps for my PhD. Yet I hated doing my Masterís degree, so why is this on my mind?

And going back to school is not limited to university. Iíve had many, many dreams when Iíve gone back to high school because Iíve had extra time on my hands (what?), and I always re-take calculus, yet I never end up finishing it so my mark never improves. This oneís easy to explain: my OAC calculus teacher went away just before our final exam and another teacher who marked WAY differently (end number rather than process, so if you made a mistake at the beginning but followed all the correct steps after that the former teacher took that into account while the latter just gave you a zero) took over. I went from an A before the exam to a C- after and itís always bugged the crap out of me.

At any rate, Iím probably not making much more sense than one of my bizarre dreams right now so Iím turning in. Gínight John Boy.

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