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Compartment 14B

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Changes afoot.

2005-05-17 - 3:10 p.m.

Day 20 of this cycle and I canít believe I forgot to take my temperature this morning. Youíd think itíd be a solid routine after doing it for over 6 months straight. Now Iím feeling kind of icky and crampy and have no idea why. Not to sound pessimistic, but it feels like the PMS symptoms I often get several days before a cycle ends. Bleah. This Saturday, day 24, Iíll be going to get blood drawn to find out if my progesterone level indicates that I did ovulate this month or if I need to increase the clomiphene dosage.

I donít know if Iíll be taking it the next cycle or if Iíll end up waiting a cycle in between Ė if I do have a textbook 28-day cycle this month, Iíll be out of town from days 19 to 23. Since weíre supposed to ďtryĒ every 2nd day from days 12 to 22, taking Clomid and then missing half of those days doesnít seem too useful.

On a completely different subject, I may (okay, will) be changing jobs again soon. The training program Iím in is almost done (4 one-year assignments) and Iím starting to get a lot of interest for my exiting job. This may sound odd but Iím actually a bit concerned that everyoneís expectations of me and what I can do are too high. Thereíve been some mighty big carrots dangled in front of my nose and Iím told that Iíve gained a reputation of ďsomeone who gets things doneĒ in the department. What if theyíre wrong? What if I canít do everything they seem to think I can? I appreciate the thought of more money Ė who wouldnít really? Ė but Iím not entirely convinced that my performance will measure up to it. Still, despite the misgivings, I am grateful for the opportunities coming my way and the faith in me behind them. There are some people I really respect and would love to work with making offers.

Interestingly, the one Iím going to in the short term, whether I decide to stay there or not, also wants me to bring the co-op student Iíve got working for me right now. This team is at the heart of a huge organizational change taking place, and it would be a very valuable experience to be part of it for the sake of her future career. I havenít brought it up to her yet but Iím planning to today. I get the feeling sheíll be keen as I have to admit that both she and I are under-utilized right now.

The other good thing about this team? The woman bringing me in knows about Jís and my family-starting efforts and sheís totally supportive of helping me develop my career in a good direction to get a solid foundation for it. The offer I think Iíll ultimately turn down comes from someone who I donít think would be as understanding.

So, in a couple of weeks Iíll probably have a lot more to tell you but a lot less time to tell you in. I hope to keep updating regularly and Iíll try to do so, but I donít know what the next few weeks will bring for sure. I hope yíall understand. In the meantime, being under-utilized has its advantages when one wants to keep updating oneís journal.

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