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Thank God that cold's over with.

2008-03-17 - 2:59 p.m.

Iím finally back at work.

To some this may not sound like reason for celebrating, but since it means that I can now draw unrestricted breaths through both my nostrils most of the time, and my head no longer feels like a sack of wet cement, this is actually good news.

I have NEVER had a cold sand-bag me like this. Iíve missed two, maybe three days TOPS in a row before due to a cold, but this was a solid week and a half. It is not without a certain measure of bitterness that I recall the words of my previous boss the first time I got pregnant:

ďAnd youíll find that you just donít get sick that much, even with people getting sick around you. Itís like your immunity gets a boost during pregnancy.Ē

Mind you, this is also the woman who told me that I wouldnít feel cold during the winter while pregnant. Both of these statements are now always followed by a mental ďHA!Ē whenever I think of them. In fact, I have since read that pregnant women are actually statistically more susceptible to catching the bugs going around, not less, and when we do catch something we canít even take anything to mitigate our symptoms.

But this is all water under the bridge (or at least it soon will be I hope; Iím still slightly more mucous-y and tired than usual). Itís time to focus on the next thing to complain about, namely, the fact that J has a conference out of town for the next 3 days. Itís a good thing this didnít happen last week, or I would have been pretty screwed, but Iím still not really looking forward to doing the solo-parenting thing for a few days.

Back in my younger, single, and obviously more naÔve days, I actually declared that if I couldnít find someone with whom I wanted to raise kids by the time my early 30s rolled around, well, I wouldnít wait until it was too late to have them. And I still believe I would have followed through on this, since I wouldnít have known any better. And I even believe I would have gotten by, like many do, and not known how much easier life would have been with a partner to share the load with. What I can state now with dead certainty, however, is that, having had such a partner around for these early years of child-rearing, I would have been choosing a much, much harder road for myself. My mind boggles when contemplating these early years of Grommetís life without J in the picture, and my already-healthy respect for single parents has soared to gargantuan proportions. I may have some hidden wellspring of fortitude that I would have tapped into, but I am so, so grateful that I donít have to do so.

Even thinking of the next few days are a bit daunting, and thatís with Grommet in daycare for the daytime and Uncle Bob picking her up for me in the evenings since I donít get home from work on time to do so. I suspect this is partly because Iím finding myself a bit more easily worn out these days: Iím slightly shorter on patience and definitely have more of a ďpoor meĒ thing going on when Iím forced to do a lot of bending and lifting, which are hard to avoid with a toddler in the house. My guts, in short, are feeling more easily squished than is comfortable. I canít believe I have 2 Ĺ months to go, and that this wee boy will probably still triple in size between now and birth. From the outside I guess Iím not that huge and Iíve still got room to grow, but from the inside I definitely feel like thereís not a lot more room for expansion without impinging on vital functions, like being able to breathe and eat for example.

I SO have to start taking some belly pictures!

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