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BlogHer Ď07: 800 women united by a hatred of automatic toilets.

2007-07-31 - 10:15 p.m.

Okay, the above wasnít the official title for the BlogHer Conference, but I did find that a surprising number of women share my loathing for those infernal devices. Every time I see one of those evil little red lights in place of a toilet handle my heart sinks. I gingerly perch, waiting, oh just waiting for the damn thing to go off prematurely. I am seldom disappointed.

Sure enough, I lean a little bit forward to reach for the toilet paper just beyond the grasp of my T-Rex arms and I hear the ominous gurgle beneath me. I have two choices and a split-second decision: if Iím done my business I can vault up and out of range, risking only a few stray drops of pee falling onto my pants as I frantically grab some paper and swipe, or, if Iím even less lucky and have been caught ďin the actĒ I can grit my teeth and hope that this toilet, unlike the vast majority of similarly-armed devices, is not a splasher. This faint hope is generally dashed when I find my behind at the business end of a fountain of cold drops.

The hair-trigger toilets at the conference facility offered me the chance to test these delightful choices many times, once three times in one pee session. And dude, even if I can pee a lot at once, itís not like it takes hours, yíknow what Iím saying? I have to ask: is it really worth making sure people donít have to sully their hands to flush if you waste water at that rate? And it didnít seem like I was the only one that would forego the autoflush and just wash my hands at the sink already, rather than think about what might be in the water spraying my butt when the damn autoflush misfired yet again. It seemed like every time I was in the bathroom there was a symphony of flushing-and-yelping.

Bathroom hi-jinks aside, there was plenty to like about BlogHer. More to come as time permits. In the meantimeÖ

No, I donít know yet if Iím pregnant. My unpredictable skin and vague, ongoing queasiness that started over the weekend says maybe, but the test this morning surprised me by saying no. Iíll try another test in a couple of days. I know itís early still (10 days post-ovulation), but if I am pregnant a First Response test had a 65% chance of catching it at this point. Fingers crossed.

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