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Bathing suit blahs.

2006-08-02 - 10:48 p.m.

So I didnít want to advertise this to any potential bad people out there, but weíve been out of town on a mini-vacation this past little while. Saturday we went to Montreal Ė where we bummed around and had meals with my various relations Ė then Sunday we continued onwards to Burlington, Vermont for a couple of nights. J really needed a break and I was happy for a change in the old routine as well. Iíll try to post more details of our trip but for now I just want to harp about one thing: see, Iíd decided it was finally time bite the bullet and buy a bathing suit.

Before we left I acknowledged that my one-piece is really getting kind of past it and my post-pregnancy body isnít really rockiní my bikinis just yet. I did some mental math and realized that my only one-piece was, in fact, purchased some time around the beginning of my university career. This would make it Ö holy crap! Around 15 years old!

To its credit, it still looks pretty good and surprisingly not dated in terms of the style, but Iíve gained, like, over 20 pounds since I bought it so wear it is kind of like squeezing into a sausage casing, and when I take it off all the seams are embossed in my flesh in red lines. Yeah so, both on and off, thatís about as attractive as it sounds. Iíve also noticed that the elastic-y, lycra-ish part isnít really holding together very well in one patch on the upper abs. Itís probably not that noticeable but I see a slight shade and texture difference when I look in the mirror in it.

So I figure, okay, Iíll be able to have J watch Grommet while I grit my teeth and try on as many suits as need be to find something that flatters. And I was willing to drop some cash on a kick-ass suit. Why not? Amortized over 15 years, any price is a good one for a suit that flatters. I was primarily thinking one-piece but not sold on it for sure; a two-piece that looked good would do (my favourites of those, while newer, are starting to get a little gnarly as well) and I have read several times about the miracles that tankinis are supposed to be for those of us that deal with thick-waists/belly bulges/long torsos* (Iím not as bad as that sounds when Iím at my ďnormalĒ weight, but I do admit Iím more rectangular than curvy and have always had to battle that tummy-bulge).

So itís the end of July Ė MID FREAKINí SUMMER, you will note Ė and I hie off to find the purveyors of swimsuits that Iíve read about. American Eagle? Not available at that location. Old Navy? Only about 5 suits left in the whole store. J. Crew? shipped all their suits away to some outlet to make room for their fall line, now displayed prominently throughout the store. I mean, the hell? Itís the middle of the hottest heat wave of the year, Iím in a city thatís full of tourists, and situated on a giant lake, and NO ONE thatís supposed to have good bathing suits have them in stock? I HATE the rushing of the seasons by stores, especially in the summer.

My favourite? Victoriaís Secret. Supposed to have good suits but apparently they are only available online. Who buys a bathing suit without ever trying it on? That alone is not why they won the prize for bad shopping experience though: I was admiring some of their new, juicy-coloured underwear and asking if they came in a boy-short cut. I was told no, but there was some more new underwear at the front of the store I could look atÖ but it might not appeal to an older woman like me.

The hell? Hate.

I went to a VS in another mall to buy my 5 pairs of low-rise bikinis, thankyouverymuch. I never did find a suit though, and had to make due with the bikini I had that was in the best shape.


* I donít really get how this is supposed to work though; wouldnít a suit that covers everything but the belly make it look like it was bulging out even further?

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