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Getting forked.

2006-01-22 - 11:03 a.m.

MmmmÖ French toast. With a square of bitter chocolate melted on it, banana slices and a touch of real maple syrup. I had the first two things in place then pulled out the syrup from the fridge. It still had the little protective wrapper around the top so I inserted the last tine of my fork and pulled. Can you see this coming?

Thatís right it let go suddenly and I forked myself. Right in the Belly. Right in the hard bump that is Grommetís feet. I clutched my Belly and rubbed Gromís feet, apologizing. I didnít break the skin and all Iíve got is one red dot to show where it happened, but I felt bad.

This is not the first, or the worst, time I smote the Belly. Last time I was leaving a washroom stall and it had one of those latches that rotates in a circle to flip into a little slot on beside the door. I flipped it open and opened the door, only to have it continue to swing around as the door was opening (and I want to know why so many washroom stalls are so shallow that you practically have to straddle the toilet to open the door Ė this is not reasonable, even when youíre not pregnant and stick out). The upshot was that it was sticking straight out from the door as it came up to the Belly and smote me, hard, right over Grommetís butt. Tears came to my eyes and I even felt a little nauseous, thatís how hard a hit it was. That spot was tender for days.

Did Grommet feel the fork? Not likely; Iíd imagine thereís a lot of cushioning there, what with skin, muscle, fat, uterine wall, and amniotic fluid in the way. Did Grommet feel that evil metal latch? Iíd actually guess yes on that one, but hope that it didnít hurt. Did I feel guilty both times? Yes. Oh yes. I know that all kids get bumps and bruises and scrapes all the time, but if thereís one time you think you can prevent all pain from happening to them, itís when theyíre still inside you.

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