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Compartment 14B

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Oh the guilt! Let's hope I don't dream of 3-limbed babies.

2005-03-31 - 11:00 p.m.

Whoa. Itís been a long and eventful couple of days. However, that eventful-ness is work-related and I canít give details. I will say that itís just as valuable a learning experience to be around when things donít go smoothly as it is when things go well. Maybe itís even more valuable as you find out what youíre made of. We had a problem with a short-term employee whoís a tad too emotional, and being part of the process trying to first decide how to deal with it and then put that decision into action was quite a test. I think I passed but weíll see over the next few days how things shake out.

I like this management stuff so far. Even the hard parts.

I had a migraine today and got to work late, yet still managed to be part of the events above, represent our team at a going-away party for a former employee, and deal with some mundane communication stuff before going home early and collapsing into a drooling heap in bed. I felt a lot better later though, and managed to scarf down the Happy Meal my darling husband brought home. I donít know what it is about McDonaldís food but itís often what I eat when Iím recovering from a migraine. I canít drink the orange drink under these circumstances but a hamburger and fries hits the spot. Maybe itís the combination of grease, salt and bland-but-somehow-yummy fries.

Now my sort-of confession. I started out managing to get by on my apple juice and ginger combo that I suckle on when Iím feeling ill, but I did cave to the major migraine meds later. It was a calculated risk Ė normally once we start trying for a cycle I donít take the meds but I know a bit more about how my body works at this pint and I have always, always ovulated (when Iíve ovulated at all) later in my cycle than average, and Iím still in the early days of this one. I knew that this migraine was shaping up to be a bad one and I knew as well that the meds should be gone from my system in less than 24 hours so I took the chance and took them. If this had happened a week later I would have stuck it out with the pain and the vomiting, I swear. Even if my temperature drops tomorrow (signaling ovulation is impending), I think Iíll still be in the clear and have therefore made the right choice. Itís just so hard to describe how awful full-blown migraines are to someone who has never had one, but if you have, you know why I made the decision I did and you know what a sacrifice it is to not take them once thereís a chance that fertilization could have taken place.

Enough self-flagellation; Iím off to bed.

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