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In which I come clean.

2004-12-20 - 4:04 p.m.

Itís a Chrismukkah miracle! I still canít access Gmail but access to my journals has come back to me! Yay!

Now Iíll be able to find out, for example, how Getupgrrlís embryos are doing when she posts the news (as of this moment, itís looking kind of ominous so my fingers are crossed for her, big time Ė send her some good vibes if youíve got any to spare).

Also, Iím keeping a keen eye on how Monicaís and Julieís new babies are doing, as well as how Bananaís progress is coming. And will AB and the Chairman succeed and have a new little Science Baby soon? Now I can find out!

Why all this interest in people makiní more people? Well, Iím coming out. For those who havenít read between the lines, J and I are Trying*. And I donít mean weíre, like, trying as in the Merriam Webster Online definition of trying, to wit:
Main Entry: try∑ing
Pronunciation: 'trI-i[ng]
Function: adjective
: severely straining the powers of endurance

I mean weíre Trying-with-a-capital-T, wiggle-your-eyebrows, TRYING. Although to be fair, that definition kind of applies too.

I kept it a secret for a long time. I wrote entries and put them in my hidden folder here, here, here, here, and here (which I wrote back in October but couldnít find in my files just now so Iíve either just posted it or have posted it twice).

My theory was that weíd conceive, Iíd wait the three months until it was safe, then unveil the whole line of entries. Since that theory has been blown to bits by the fact that conception, it has not occurred, plus my in-person friends who read this know about the trying anyway, I figured Iíd come clean and start posting about it.

At this point, I am on my fourth cycle since going off the Pill in May, and may I say that 3 periods in 7 months isn't, shall we say, ideal when it comes to trying to conceive? For 50 days my basal body temperature pinged around alternately getting my hopes up and then dashing them. For 40 days, J has been saddling up like a trooper two out of every three days because, as I remind him, what if we skip a day or two and then it turns out that I ovulated RIGHT THEN?!?

Now, finally, my basal body temperature has stayed high for more than three days in a row which means Iíve probably ovulated. Yay! That means that if this cycle is like the last and weíre confounded by a short luteal phase, Iíll get my period in about 6 days. But if, IF my temperature manages to stay up and my luteal phase lasts for a decent amount of time, our odds arenít bad for me being pregnant RIGHT THIS VERY INSTANT. We certainly managed a good try or two at the optimal time if my chart is to be believed.

I would SO love some good news this Christmas. Keep your fingers crossed for us!

*As of the moment, I donít think this site will be totally taken over with the notion of trying to conceive and thus become a fertility/infertility blog (not that I wouldnít be honoured to be included in the Barren Bitches Brigade, fine writers that they are), but I make no promises about my upcoming obsessions.

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