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Compartment 14B

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Water: friend or foe?

2004-09-24 - 10:12 a.m.

Ten little aqueous soldiers, all in a row.
Two-by-two I line them up.
One-by-one I�m supposed to knock them back.
Ten were there on Monday.
Eight are still there; but now it�s Friday.

I am supposed to drink more liquid. Specifically, much of that liquid should be water as it doesn�t have the calories that come with other liquids and I don�t believe in consuming artificial sweeteners. I try to also drink milk and juice because they�re nutritious, but I really need to try to drink more water. Water has many, many roles in the body (it�s a component of synovial fluid which lubricates joints, it�s a component of blood which carries oxygen to the cells in the body and waste away from them, it plays a role in excretion of toxins, etc. to name a few). I have been told by my doctor to drink more because it will help prevent the urinary tract infections I�m stricken with from time to time.

This freaky-ass building doesn�t have potable water (lead levels are too high) so the building management distributes flats of half-litre bottles. This makes it relatively easy to measure how much I�m drinking (1 bottle = 2 cups) so I recently set a goal for myself. Monday I lined up 10 bottles. Drinking two per day, half the standard daily requirement but I do drink outside the office too, would mean that they should be gone by the end of the week. I was sick at home on Tuesday so I could give myself a break if there were four left right now, but I just counted them and there are EIGHT.

That means that I�ve drank two since Monday or, averaged out over the three days I�ve been in the office, I�ve drank 1/3 of a litre, just over � a cup, per day while at work.

Not good.

The truth is, I just don�t like to drink. It seems like so much effort. I try and try and try to drink, I hit my target for the day, and then I have to do it ALL OVER AGAIN the next day. And the next. Even when I�m thirsty and the water bottle is right there, I often can�t be bothered to reach for it.

I�m like the guy in Unbreakable, water is my nemesis. I can swim dogpaddle if I need to, but I�m not a jump-in-the-pool kind of person. I choke on water easily. I have to be standing still to swallow it � if I try to drink from a squeeze bottle while exercising at the guy I practically drown.

Oh go ahead, laugh. My friends do, as I sputter and cough all red-faced with my eyes watering because I�ve inhaled a snowflake.

It was a big, clumpy snowflake, I swear.

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