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Ms. P.? Paging Ms. P....

2004-06-24 - 11:19 a.m.

Dear Period,

Where the hell are you?



As some of you may recall, I went off the Pill awhile ago to get my system back in rhythm. In fact, it was just after mid-May.

I have to confess I donít know what my natural rhythm actually is. I never kept track of cycle lengths before I went on the Pill as a teenager Ė hey, I was a teenager, I didnít care about that stuff. I cared about boys and school and the condition of my skinÖ you know, the earth-shattering things. I wasnít sexually active yet so I didnít need to know if I was ďlateĒ or not, and even if I could miss the unmistakable signs of impending flow, just in case, I always had ďfeminine protectionĒ in the knapsack which I carried everywhere. (That knapsack could have been grafted to me, so seldom was it not in my immediate possession.) In university, before going on the Pill, I kept track in a distracted sort of way in the sense that I knew what my timing was in relation to my best friendís timing.

I did, however, know when I ovulated, albeit a few years after I started, because I recognized a description of the signs from a book. They were unmistakable.

I have not seen these signs yet.

I know that the 28-day guideline is only an average so Iím not really worrying about the fact that itís been 33 since the start of the cycle triggered by going off the Pill. Hey, letís be honest here, I know from experience that I could happily go forever without a period. Itís really more about the fact that not returning to a natural cycle could indicate somethingís wrong. Somethingís obviously changed, but is something actually wrong, or do I just have to be patient while my body adjusts to producing its own damn hormones again? Have I, in fact, ovulated and the ďsymptomsĒ just donít show in my 30s like they did in my teens?

I expressed some concern to J last night about the fact that itís been 33 days and I donít see any signs of getting my period. He didnít really understand what I was getting at (though he will after reading this entry) and got all cute and excited thinking maybe I was suggesting I might be pregnant. I felt kind of bad making his face fall; letting him know that I was pretty sure I hadnít ovulated at all and reminding him that that was pretty much impossible given the precautions weíve been taking.

Anyway, this is probably all not a huge deal and Iím just being unrealistic in expecting my body to snap into a textbook-style cycle right away. Time will tell. And if time doesnít, my doctor hopefully will, Ďcause if I donít see any sort of change in the next two weeks, Iím making an appointment. Iím not known for my patience and darn it, I want some answers. Right now would be good.

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