With arms outstretched...

Compartment 14B

Newest Older Contact Me Profile Photos Etsy

Yes, I compared my uterus to a rodent. What of it?

2004-05-28 - 9:42 a.m.

So, this week in review:

My first niece was born.
New job.
One friend called and invited me out east for her WEDDING this summer.
Another called to let me know she and her husband bought a house with weekend. Oh and, by the way, she’s pregnant with her second.

And for my final piece of news (and those of you who are squeamish about bodily functions might want to skip this entry as you may learn more about me than you’re comfortable with)...

I’ve gone off the Pill.

Now, if you know me in real life, simmer down; don’t get all excited and for heaven’s sake, don’t freakin’ tell anyone or speculate on what it could mean. It doesn’t mean we’re going sans birth control, just that we’re switching it up.

After talking about it we’ve just decided that it might not be a bad idea to let my body go back to it’s own cycle and see if it “remembers” how to ovulate after more than 12 years of not doing so. For that matter, I’ve been on a constant Pill regimen for longer than J’s known me. Do you know what that means?

That’s right, sheer and utter Paradise. I have been living in non-menstrual bliss.

I haven’t had to worry about “that time of the month” in over two years. I haven’t had to keep an eye on my supply of products designed to staunch unwelcome flows, or remember to have these things on me “just in case”. I haven’t had to look at the calendar and figure out if my vacation or honeymoon will be poorly timed and I should take measures to change things. I haven’t suffered through the massive migraines that hit me synchronously with my period cramps. Nor have I suffered through the waves of blemishes, bloating, cravings, or emotional upheaval that come with the package. I’ve been able to watch long-distance ads dry-eyed for the last few Christmases.

And J? He’s never had to deal with me as a “normal” woman. He’s never seen me with PMS (or during-MS, or post-MS). He’s never had me tear up and suddenly declare ridiculous things. I haven’t ripped his head off for normally-innocuous statements (I hope, anyway, for those last two things). I have been relatively clear-skinned and emotionally even-keeled as long as he’s known me (and those who have known me in my younger days know that that last? It is saying a lot.) Sex has been bountiful and spontaneous. Birth control never had to be given more than a moment’s thought every night as I dutifully popped my little white Pill when I brushed my teeth. I have been as close to a Stepford wife as could ever be expected of my free-thinking, feminist, independent, yet slightly-spoiled-by-my-husband self.

Um. Looking at those last two paragraphs… tell me again why I’m doing this? Why am I deliberately turning my back on the Pill who has been so kind to me, lo these many years? Will I get to the point where I pull out my last pack that I didn’t take and find comfort from forlornly stroking the soothingly ordered little rows of blister packs, each with its teeny offering of relief from the monthly tide?

Oh yeah, because I’m in my thirties and it seems like a good idea to make sure all my mysterious plumbing works like it should, and give my body a chance to march to its own beat for awhile.

The first week hasn’t been so bad. I did get a migraine, staved off to a tolerable level with medication. And cramps. I also got the shortest and lightest period in history. Picture a nocturnal hamster prodded out of sleep in the middle of the day by children clamouring for entertainment. It would open its eyes to blinking slits, maybe grudgingly trundle around the cage, and then roll up in a ball back in its nest – my uterus was that hamster. After a few years of hibernating it was all “Oh, you want me to what?” followed by a halfhearted effort, and then back to sleep.

So, not so bad for now. Check back with me when I’m trapped in a grubby public washroom after the unexpected “Here I am!” of my period and no tampon or change of underwear handily stashed anywhere upon my person. Ohmigosh, will I, *gasp* have to start carrying a purse?!? Time will tell... (dun, dun, duh)

Before - After

All content © Shawna 2003-2010
That means no swiping my stuff - text, images, etc. - without asking.

P.S. If you're emailing me, replace the [at] with @ in the "to" line. Oh, and if you put the word "journal" in the subject line it'll have a better chance of making it past my junk mail filters.

recommend me
HTML and design help by Jo
hosted by Diaryland