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Getting down with my pointy-headed self.

2004-04-14 - 10:08 a.m.

A quick scan of some new entries up today (go to my Older page for the links to sites I visit regularly) shows that a lot of people are feeling rushed and overwhelmed today. I, by contrast, have decided to talk about my pointy head.

Dilbert has a few pointy-haired characters (the pointy-haired boss, the woman with the hair like a giant triangle) and, indeed, I�ve met people with hair seemingly straight out of that strip. I, however, am a step beyond that. I�ve discovered that my head is pointy. I don�t know how it happened. I distinctly remember being able to balance books on my head as a child. I could even walk slowly around the room. It wasn�t like I had a cube head but I certainly had a fairly level surface to work with.

No longer the case my friends.

I now seem to practically have a ridge running down the center of my head. My mom briefly dated a balding man with this feature and looking at his head from behind reminded me of a lizard�s crest. I vividly remember standing silently behind him while he was seated at the kitchen table and pointing it out to my mom with silent gesticulations. Perhaps I am now suffering from divine retribution for my irreverence.

I just looked up pointy-headed in the Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary.

Main Entry: pointy-head
Pronunciation: 'poin-tE-"hed
Function: noun usually disparaging : INTELLECTUAL
- pointy-head�ed /-"he-d&d/ adjective

Perhaps my internal pointy-headedness is now manifesting itself?

It�s almost like I have had my hands chronically clapped tightly over my ears and the resulting squeezing has flattened my noggin. But I�ve never been one to shut out the world so ardently.

It�s more likely that years of sleeping on my side has flattened my head, just as years of talking on the telephone has perceptibly flattened my right ear. Dooce�s daughter Leta is apparently being similarly affected by this propensity. Of course, she�s just a baby and still has a soft head. I wouldn�t have thought that my hardened melon would have changed shape so much between my teens and my early thirties.

Regardless of the reason, I find yoga headstands are too uncomfortable to perform, I can�t balance anything on the top of my head, and I�ll never discover my inner punk-rock girl and shave my head. It�s a good thing I�m not a guy � I think male-pattern baldness would have been my fate, judging from my mother�s brother.

Before - After


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