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Getting down with my pointy-headed self.

2004-04-14 - 10:08 a.m.

A quick scan of some new entries up today (go to my Older page for the links to sites I visit regularly) shows that a lot of people are feeling rushed and overwhelmed today. I, by contrast, have decided to talk about my pointy head.

Dilbert has a few pointy-haired characters (the pointy-haired boss, the woman with the hair like a giant triangle) and, indeed, Iíve met people with hair seemingly straight out of that strip. I, however, am a step beyond that. Iíve discovered that my head is pointy. I donít know how it happened. I distinctly remember being able to balance books on my head as a child. I could even walk slowly around the room. It wasnít like I had a cube head but I certainly had a fairly level surface to work with.

No longer the case my friends.

I now seem to practically have a ridge running down the center of my head. My mom briefly dated a balding man with this feature and looking at his head from behind reminded me of a lizardís crest. I vividly remember standing silently behind him while he was seated at the kitchen table and pointing it out to my mom with silent gesticulations. Perhaps I am now suffering from divine retribution for my irreverence.

I just looked up pointy-headed in the Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary.

Main Entry: pointy-head
Pronunciation: 'poin-tE-"hed
Function: noun usually disparaging : INTELLECTUAL
- pointy-head∑ed /-"he-d&d/ adjective

Perhaps my internal pointy-headedness is now manifesting itself?

Itís almost like I have had my hands chronically clapped tightly over my ears and the resulting squeezing has flattened my noggin. But Iíve never been one to shut out the world so ardently.

Itís more likely that years of sleeping on my side has flattened my head, just as years of talking on the telephone has perceptibly flattened my right ear. Dooceís daughter Leta is apparently being similarly affected by this propensity. Of course, sheís just a baby and still has a soft head. I wouldnít have thought that my hardened melon would have changed shape so much between my teens and my early thirties.

Regardless of the reason, I find yoga headstands are too uncomfortable to perform, I canít balance anything on the top of my head, and Iíll never discover my inner punk-rock girl and shave my head. Itís a good thing Iím not a guy Ė I think male-pattern baldness would have been my fate, judging from my motherís brother.

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