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The body electric.

2004-01-15 - 12:53 p.m.

I don�t know if it�s the weather lately, or maybe the clothes that the weather forces me to wear. A bit of polar fleece can, apparently, be a dangerous thing. What I�m speaking of is the fact that I�m practically electrocuting myself on a regular basis throughout the day. Static cling would be one thing, but we�re talking about science museum, hand-on-a-VandeGraaff-generator type of static buildup.

I am only getting a charge out of this in the literal sense.

The night before last I went to flip a switch in the hall and actually saw a blue spark arcing between a screw in the switchplate and my baby finger. And the room wasn�t even dark. BZzzap! I did one of those shriek-while-inhaling things; the kind of gasp that, had he been in the house, would have brought my husband running to see if I�d broken or cut off anything. My finger still tingled the next day.

I get shocks in the car. J has taken to brushing my cheek to ground me before kissing me goodbye when he drops me off at work. (One good thing about this weather is that J deems it too cold to walk so he gives me a lift.) He can�t stand the woebegone and slightly betrayed look on my face when he shocks me on my lips, already sensitive from being dried out by the weather.

I get bigger shocks getting out of the car. I�m under instructions to open the door, push down the lock, get out carefully and then close the door touching only the glass. Apparently this will only mean getting a shock from the next thing I touch that�s grounded, but at least I won�t be able to blame J�s car.

I no longer dare wear flip-flops around the house as they insulate me from continuously dispersing my charge, leading to the big build-ups which culminate in painful shocks. J�s been talking about tying a grounding wire around my ankle and letting it trail behind me. He�s only half joking. And I�m half considering it. Shut up. It could be very discreet if it just stuck out of my pantleg and brushed the ground.

So, do I (forgive me) have a particularly electric personality?

Actually, I suspect I do. I was running on a treadmill in Regina, Saskatchewan last winter and I was getting major shocks every time I touched the metal frame. It got to the point where I was deliberately brushing it every four steps and every time I did there was a small snapping sound. Snap! two, three, four, Snap! two, three, four� If I forgot, the charge would build up and the snaps would get a lot louder and make themselves felt a lot more. After I finished my � hour of self-inflicted torture (because heaven forbid I cut my run short just because I suspected that the machine I was on would short out and electrocute me at any moment), I mentioned to the person at the front desk that I didn�t think the treadmill was grounded properly. He assured me that it was because they�d had it checked a few months back but every now and then someone would say the same thing I was saying. Not everyone, just a random person every couple of months.

I wonder if there are others who seem to conduct electricity better or build up more static than the average person. This would be a great super power if only it didn�t mean getting needled with shocks ourselves. Kind of like Electro from the old Spiderman comics, only I wouldn�t have the ridiculous starfish-like mask.

I also wonder if this extra charge is what some people see as auras? Or, if not, if it would at least affect the way our auras look to those that, like a former French professor of mine, can apparently see them? It�s just a thought.

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I�d like to note that my 50th entry just slipped past this week unheralded. I had intended to say something at the time but I forgot, so here it now is� 50+ entries? Who�d a thunk I�d keep it up? Yay for me!

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