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Biscuit's checkup and full days.

2009-12-08 - 10:12 a.m.

Okay, there has to be something wrong with my family doctor�s scale. According to her scale, Biscuit is actually a pound lighter (20 lbs) than what two scales at CHEO said on November 19th (21 lbs, 2 oz). That put him officially at lower than the 3rd percentile for weight again. He also failed a couple of markers on the checklist for social and language development, so we�ve been instructed to take him to the First Words clinic for evaluation for a speech delay, and to the paediatrician to determine if he needs referrals to check for things like autism.

I�m not particularly worried about that last, to be honest; I�ve rarely seen a more cuddly baby. Like his sister, he would Velcro himself to me 24/7 if he could. I suspect that the fact that he doesn�t pretend to make tea has more to do with the fact that we rarely drink tea in our household, and he doesn�t tuck dolls into bed because his own bedtime does not exactly follow the model of �put the baby down, cover him with a blanket, let him drift off to dreamland�.

But, like any dutiful parent, I will make and bring him to these appointments. I may be the expert on the topic of �my kid�, but there are certainly things I haven�t seen and wouldn�t know what to look for, and this screening process is in place for a reason. At the very least it couldn�t hurt. It�s not like we�re talking exploratory surgery here; it�s a few questions and perhaps some observation of Biscuit. And of course, with our health care system, all it will cost me is time, and frankly, time with Biscuit feels in short supply these days. J has had him for the last couple of nights to try to break the wake-and-won�t-go-back-to-sleep-without-breastfeeding cycle he�s been on, so I didn�t see him at all this morning. Tonight I teach at the gym until 7pm and I�ll be lucky to get home by 8pm, at which point he�ll likely be in bed asleep.

You know, my mother has remarked that, when she looks back at my childhood, she thinks of my dad as not a bad father, just a mostly-absent one. I remember that during the week he was gone in the mornings so I only saw him in the evenings on those days, but at least he was always home for dinner and we ate together. Now I look at my life and realize I�m not even home before my kids� bedtimes twice a week and even when I�m home at 6 pm it�s not unusual for J to have already fed them.

I know I�m not finding the best balance right now, but the largest chunk of time away from my family is spent at my office and we need my salary since I�m the main breadwinner in the household. The two classes I teach at the gym give me much-needed exercise and free gym memberships for myself and my husband: if I didn�t teach twice a week I�m sure there�s no way I�d go work out twice a week and I cannot conceive of giving up exercise. It would be detrimental to my physical and, I believe, mental health. The photography business takes time, yes, but it�s almost all during the hours after the kids are asleep. It would be the easiest thing to eliminate, but would also be the least helpful thing in terms of taking pressure off my schedule.

The only solution I see right now is waiting. In a year we�ll sell our current house and move back to the one we�re renting out. When that happens it�ll facilitate a big change: it�s half a block from the school Grommet will be going to and it has an on-site daycare facility that I�ve heard great things about, plus it�s across the street from a stop for an express bus that will take me almost right to work. Instead of � an hour to drop off the kids, then parking at a park �n ride and taking the milk run, I�ll be able to drop them off on foot in 10 minutes, then zoom downtown. It should cut at least 40 minutes from both the start and end of my day.

I cannot wait to not be quite so much of an �absent mother�, but wait I shall. Hopefully by this time next year things will get sorted out for the better.

Before - After


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