Compartment 14B
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And life rolls on. 2007-09-11 - 11:14 a.m. Yesterday I had more blood drawn. It was quite a contrast to last week, when I was all a-twitter and sure that the results were just an unnecessary confirmation that yes, I was indeed pregnant. Yesterday was to find out if my hormone levels have returned to normal and I should start with the next round of Clomid today, or if I�ll be sitting this cycle out. The lab tech asked me �What�s going on?� when she saw me back for a second round of hCG and progesterone tests and probably looking kind of wilted. I told her that I�d miscarried and she said, �What happened? I thought things were going well!� To which I could only say, �I don�t know really, and me too, but the results last week were only a tenth of what they should have been, so I guess things weren�t going well even then.� So, I�m back at work, feeling a little cringe-y, to be honest, about the fact that I was crying in front of my boss last week. I haven�t run into him yet and I�m sure it�ll be fine, but I really don�t like crying at work and certainly not in front of the boss. Ick. I also haven�t been asked yet by anyone why I was away and am not sure exactly what to tell them. I mean, I�ll tell them I was sick but if they press for details I�m not sure what to say other than a firm, �just not well and I don�t want to go into the gory details.� I don�t really like lying, but I�m certainly not going to tell anyone exactly what happened. And there�s a lovely woman who works in the next cube that I know will ask if I�m feeling better. I guess I can say that I am, but the way I felt �bad� wasn�t physical to begin with so it�s, again, kind of an uncomfortable prospect to think about talking with her. Oh well, I�m a big girl (and Big Girls Don�t Cry - a song that came on the radio as I was trying to stifle tears on Friday: it seemed very apt at the time but I suppose it was kind of corny) and I suppose I can handle it. Now, to get my head out of my ovaries for a change, I just feel I should really say how great Grommet is these days. She�s totally charming and cute and learning all kinds of new words. And here�s something cool: she was looking at a word jumble this past weekend and started to say �D!� Then she started pointing to a number puzzle and started to say �Four!� While she wasn�t pointing to the letter D or the number 4 at the time, I found it very interesting that she said letters when looking at a letter puzzle and numbers when looking at a number puzzle. For 19.5 months, I think that�s pretty darn good. Also, last night? She said �potty� and then tooted and I thought to myself that she just felt the fart coming on and wasn�t it clever of her to make the association? Then about a minute later she pooped. So, had I just listened to her and put her on her potty when she asked, she would have pooped there. Mumma dropped the ball on that one. She�s brilliant, obviously. Too bad her mother is holding her back. ----------------------- Just got the word that my hormones are back to �normal� levels but that my doc wants me to sit this cycle out anyway. I wish I could show him up and conceive without his voodoo but, sadly, I suspect it�s not likely to happen and we�ll just lose another month, more if I run true to form and have a long cycle. Bah.
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