With arms outstretched...

Compartment 14B

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To have and to hold.

2006-08-29 - 8:57 p.m.

I love your hands.

Theyíre tiny and warm and very, very soft. The few times Iíve turned my back towards you in bed Iíve felt little pats and taps and sometimes Iíve stayed turned away just for the pleasure of feeling your little hands exploring my back and trying to get my attention.

Your grip is fierce. There are sections of my hair that are only about an inch long, but you manage to grab them and hold on as if they were welded to your fist. You love grabbing my hair; it makes you smile to have a handful of it. Today you had a good handful and you earnestly levered your way to my face and licked my nose. It wasnít a big slobbery lick either, just a soft, precise touching of the tip of your tongue.

It always amazes me, how far you can reach and grab things. In a restaurant I carefully place everything beyond your reach, yet before I know it Iím grabbing a soggy paper napkin out of your hand and sweeping bits of it out of your mouth. (And why will you try to eat a napkin, yet reject all my lovingly prepared organic foods? Weíve recently struck out with carrots and apple, but Iíve got banana up my sleeve for tomorrow.) You, clever girl, have even learned that pulling on the table cloth will bring succulent cutlery and waterglasses within grabbing distance.

When you nurse you like to have something in your hand and youíll frantically pull yourself closer using my shirt or bra. At night I nurse you to sleep and your hand clenches my finger. When youíre full and your jaw falls open you turn your head away from me, but your hand remains and that is how you drift off to sleep, your tiny hand curled in mine.

I love your hands.

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