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Things that go bump in the night.

2005-12-13 - 12:01 p.m.

My mind is mildly boggled. I was just filling up my water bottle. It holds 1.5 liters and has a good size and heft to it. Now, follow my thought processes as you try to picture this at home:

1.5 liters. Hm.

1 liter of water weighs 1 kilogram and 1 kilogram is equal to 2.2 pounds so 1.5 liters would weighÖ letís seeÖ 3.3 pounds.

At 32 weeks today Grommet is now, according to most internet sources, almost 4 pounds.

People are roughly the density of water, soÖ (holds up bottle against abdomen)Ö Grommet is bigger and heavier than this bottle! But this bottle seems huge to be tucked inside my stomach! Gak!

No wonder Iím starting to be prodded awake at night. Take, for example, last night.

Have you ever seen the Toblerone commercial where people have their cheeks sticking out in giant triangles as if theyíve got an entire piece of Toblerone tucked in there? Well last night I was awakened by the sensation that that was what was happening to my stomach. Sure enough, when I reached down I found a hard, pointy protrusion (a foot? an elbow?) just to the right of my belly button (still an innie, by the way). Under my fingers the bump receded, but I felt much swimming and restlessness for a good while and didnít go back to sleep right away.

To be fair, I donít think that Iím kept up by the Grom making a nuisance of himself. Yes, her kicking can get uncomfortable but thatís really only the case when Iím upright and she kicks downwards on my bladder or cervix; when Iím lying down I tend to get the kicks going outward instead and I donít mind those at all. Rather, I find the movements (especially the slower squirming and swimming) so intriguing that my attention gets drawn to them and once that happens I get hooked out of sleep.

Itís like going to the bathroom in the middle of the night: if you stumble to the can and operate on autopilot (pee, flush, wash hands, go back to warm, warm bed) you can go right back to sleep when you hit your nest again. If you throw something else in, especially something that requires you to turn on the light and devote your attention to it (this retainer is bugging me so Iím going to take it out and clean it now instead of leaving it in until the morning), thatís it. Youíre alert and you might as well kiss sleep bye bye for as long as it takes you to get settled and comfy and lulled again.

So I feel Grommet squirm and my Belly stretch in weird places and I canít resist feeling for it. Even as I reach my hands for the moving bumps, Iím aware that Iím surrendering sleep for awhile but I just find it too cool to pass up. I always thought feeling another, separate being move inside me would be interesting, but maybe in a gross, alien-possessed way. All I can say is that, yes, itís kind of freaky, but in a more-fascinating, less-gross way than Iíd anticipated.

Even without having met the Grom yet, Iíd have to say that this whole pregnancy thing is pretty cool and totally worth it. I know I have had a blessedly-problem-free gestation so far, so it might be different for someone who puked and slept her way through the first 3 months, and involuntarily peed her way through the last 3, but the few things that have hit me (e.g. the colostrum ďescapageĒ, and the rise of heartburn and backache thatís been getting me lately and I know will only increase over the next 8 weeks) are still but a blip when compared to the coolness of feeling an entity grow and squirm and thump within me, and knowing that that entity is half me and half J, and yet totally their own person at the same time, and will be on the outside soonÖ

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