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Compartment 14B

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Iím ba-aack!

2005-06-19 - 11:29 a.m.

I may indeed type up some of what I wrote this past week, but in the meantime I really want to do an update on the pregnancy before too many changes start occurring and my current state fades from memory. This might get a little graphic so if youíre a certain former sidekick Iím warning you, this may be more information about me than you want to envisionÖ

Iím now officially at 6 and a half weeks. Grommet is the size of a lentil this week, has a small proto-heart, and looks, apparently, a little bit like a tiny tadpole.

I always knew that each pregnancy is different so I shouldnít have any hard-and-fast (pardon the pun) preconceptions about it before I was actually knocked up. Yet Iíve found a few things have been wholly unexpected so far. The difficulty sleeping through the night Iíve already talked about. I expected to be really, really tired, not more alert than usual (i.e. snoring softly and drooling) at 3am. Of course, the tired phase may yet be coming.

I expected that my boobs would hurt. Everyone (for example, Zoot) seemed to mention sore boobs as an early sign, so I was faithfully groping myself every cycle in an attempt to discern whether I was pregnant or not. My boobs have not yet gotten really sore and itís well past the time that the pregnancy tests have confirmed my ďwith-childĒ status. What I have experienced, boob-related, is kind of hard to describe. They donít hurt but from early-on they have felt different. A little tender and sensitive, particularly the nipples. Iím much more aware of them than usual. When I shift position in the night the brushing-up-against-things brings me just slightly out of sleep. Going bra-less around the house in my PJs is a less attractive option than it used to be. When I grope myself now Ė which I still do regularly Ė itís to try to discern if this sense of different-ness is being caused by them growing or not. A delighted J has been confronted with me hoisting them at him ďmachine gun jubblyĒ style more than once to solicit his opinion. To my eye, they mostly look the same. Sometimes I think maybe theyíre a bit bigger, most times not. Certainly Iím not straining any of my bras. To my hands, however, they feel bigger. Does that make any sense?

Morning sickness; this I got before the first test which wasnít even positive yet. Iíve been extremely lucky that I havenít been throwing up, just feeling a bit unsettled in my tum from time to time. However, Iíve read warnings about constipation becoming a problem for some people early on and Iím hear to tell you that thatís not universal, at least not for me at this stage. Since last Tuesday when, I kid you not, the people running my course served me BEAVER* for lunch, Iíve been having the, uh, opposite problem. Sort of a castorís revenge instead of Montezumaís revenge. Since coming home again itís died down a bit but has by no means totally disappeared. This may also have been contributed to by the shift in diet while I was gone (yummy, non-rodent-containing four-course dinner each and every night anyone?) and the fact that Iím eating way more fruit and veggies than normal, and drinking more milk despite being slightly lactose-intolerant.

I havenít been pigging out as I know many women are tempted to do, or even been as hungry as I expected to be. My mantra has been ďnutrient denseĒ when it comes to food lately. Today I had a decadent dutchie doughnut and a decaf with lots of milk that J had brought home from Tim Hortonís for me. This was the first coffee, even decaf, that Iíve had in the last few weeks. Iíve replaced this habitual vice with milk, calcium-enriched orange juice and/or extra water in the mornings. Desserts have actually lost some of their appeal for me. If itís good for Grommet, I try to eat it; if itís empty calories, I feel I canít afford those calories on top of the extras Iím consuming that are good for Grommet. Because my eating habits often meant a coffee and muffin mid-morning and a yogurt and citrus fruit mid-afternoon and nothing else until dinner, my diet has had to radically change to spread out my consumption more evenly over the day. As a result, even though itís generally healthy food Iíve been eating (with a special emphasis on protein and calcium), I feel like Iím Constantly. Putting. Food. In. My. Mouth. And truthfully, itís already getting a bit tiring, even if it isnít particularly fattening food. Oh well, Iím sure that soon enough Iíll just be ravenous all the time and wonít complain then about having to eat.

I have a feeling that a lot of what Iíve written today will change over the next little while so this may be a case of ďbe careful what you wish forĒ but honestly, the pregnancy for me at this point is mostly intellectual. Iím excited, and think and read about pregnancy constantly, yet at the same time it doesnít feel ďrealĒ for me yet. One thing about getting stronger, more stereotypical and unmistakable symptoms will maybe be bringing home a bit more just how much our lives are about to change. Of course, Iíll keep yíall updated.

Oh hey, as an aside, J and I got a digital camera yesterday. This will inevitably mean belly shots will be forthcoming. I wonít go too hog-wild with posting pics though unless some curious and generous reader wants to go to my Profile section and pay to upgrade my Diaryland status from ďGoldĒ to ďSuper GoldĒ and thus give me more server space. Then Iíd probably feel obligated to do so.

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* Yes, literal beaver; the large rodent thatís on the Canadian nickel. Iíll go into more details when I talk about the past week, but for now suffice it to say that our course unexpectedly contained a lot of Aboriginal teachings.

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