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Water: friend or foe?

2004-09-24 - 10:12 a.m.

Ten little aqueous soldiers, all in a row.
Two-by-two I line them up.
One-by-one Iím supposed to knock them back.
Ten were there on Monday.
Eight are still there; but now itís Friday.

I am supposed to drink more liquid. Specifically, much of that liquid should be water as it doesnít have the calories that come with other liquids and I donít believe in consuming artificial sweeteners. I try to also drink milk and juice because theyíre nutritious, but I really need to try to drink more water. Water has many, many roles in the body (itís a component of synovial fluid which lubricates joints, itís a component of blood which carries oxygen to the cells in the body and waste away from them, it plays a role in excretion of toxins, etc. to name a few). I have been told by my doctor to drink more because it will help prevent the urinary tract infections Iím stricken with from time to time.

This freaky-ass building doesnít have potable water (lead levels are too high) so the building management distributes flats of half-litre bottles. This makes it relatively easy to measure how much Iím drinking (1 bottle = 2 cups) so I recently set a goal for myself. Monday I lined up 10 bottles. Drinking two per day, half the standard daily requirement but I do drink outside the office too, would mean that they should be gone by the end of the week. I was sick at home on Tuesday so I could give myself a break if there were four left right now, but I just counted them and there are EIGHT.

That means that Iíve drank two since Monday or, averaged out over the three days Iíve been in the office, Iíve drank 1/3 of a litre, just over Ĺ a cup, per day while at work.

Not good.

The truth is, I just donít like to drink. It seems like so much effort. I try and try and try to drink, I hit my target for the day, and then I have to do it ALL OVER AGAIN the next day. And the next. Even when Iím thirsty and the water bottle is right there, I often canít be bothered to reach for it.

Iím like the guy in Unbreakable, water is my nemesis. I can swim dogpaddle if I need to, but Iím not a jump-in-the-pool kind of person. I choke on water easily. I have to be standing still to swallow it Ė if I try to drink from a squeeze bottle while exercising at the guy I practically drown.

Oh go ahead, laugh. My friends do, as I sputter and cough all red-faced with my eyes watering because Iíve inhaled a snowflake.

It was a big, clumpy snowflake, I swear.

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